TEACHER ABBY: I’m an older man who has struggled with weight for years. When I was 50, I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure and diabetes. I took my doctor’s advice on diet and 150 minutes of exercise a week. Fast forward to today, and I’ve lost about half my body weight and am now in good health.
My challenge now is to find women at or near my age who have the same dedication to exercise and fitness. It is almost difficult to find a partner who shares the same values. I’ve tried dating, and almost always get catfished. I go on dates, but if I’m not attracted to a certain person, things don’t come out of “friend zone.”
I feel physical attraction makes a good part of a good relationship. I appreciate having friends, but finding someone who can run, bike, kayak, etc., to me, is important for a successful relationship. Should I be determined to have someone to spend time with, or keep faith and hope that I will find a woman that I find attractive? I had no luck finding a suitable partner. Am I being picky, since most people don’t or don’t take care of themselves? — DISAPPOINT MEMPHIS
FREAKING LOVE: Physical attraction is important, but what attracts us to others varies from person to person. You don’t have to be lonely. Because physical activity is very important in your life in addition to chemistry, keep looking online. If you do, you will find that there is more than one website dedicated to people who are interested in health and fitness. Wish you all the best.
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DEAR ABBY: She is a great woman who is doing a great job and is generally very happy with my life. My husband is a pastor, but we have our own apartment, so my grown daughter lives in the church with her three children and spouse. My husband has stated his intention to retire next year – appropriate.
Naturally, my daughter will have to find a new place to live. He suggested that I sell my apartment and live with him and his children in a two-family house. I love her and my grandchildren, but my mortgage is paid off and I don’t want to do this. I highly doubt that you have the money to contribute to a down payment or many other expenses for paying or maintaining the house. How can I respond without hurting him too much? – A BAD IDEA IN NEW YORK
FAVORITE SAYING: Your grown daughter was very lucky to have foster parents, a partner and children. You didn’t say if he and his partner have jobs. (I wish you had.) If they do, they can combine their incomes and be able to pay rent to the landlord.
Ask your daughter how she intends to participate in the arrangement she is suggesting, and be honest about your feelings. There is no harm in being independent. You don’t need to be harsh, but talk to him that what he has in mind will not work for you.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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What teenagers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along well with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order for $8 (US currency) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling is included in the price.)
(EDITORS: If you have editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, clint.hooker@andrewsmcmeel.com.)
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